Summer has now arrived, probably to stay for the time being. Temperatures are rising, incidences are falling, restaurants and bars are opening, friends and families are allowed to come together again. It feels like we can dare to take a deep breath and live a little again. Maybe even almost like before Covid. Great freedom for some, the exact opposite for others. A global phenomenon: from social distancing to social anxiety. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but it affects many, whether introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between. That's why I want to share my experiences, tips and tricks with you here to help you feel comfortable during this "corona summer break", especially with yourself.
- Social anxiety: no longer a foreign word
- Normalization is required and starts with you
- How to: Post-Lockdown Life with Social Anxiety
- Up and down instead of up up up.
1. social anxiety: no longer a foreign word
The leap into public life brings more or less discomfort for many. Everyday life can be overwhelming these days, draining energy and costing a lot of effort, especially in urban areas. Over the freedom-restricted winter, our own four walls have become a comfort nest. There was hardly anything going on outside - of course, it is cold, everything that is fun to do was closed or forbidden. Pictures of deserted streets in otherwise bustling cities went around the world. And now? Here in Munich at least, the incidence suddenly fell so quickly that it felt as if outdoor restaurants were allowed to reopen overnight, and now even indoor establishments. Public squares, well-known street corners, parks and gardens are filled with people wherever you look. Social distancing seems to have become a foreign concept again. If this image makes your stomach clench, you will certainly be familiar with the term social anxiety. The discomfort, the fear of social interaction, especially in groups, takes on a whole new meaning. Psychologists report that since the lockdown, their patients have increasingly expressed problems participating in public life again, going out at all and being around people. But social anxiety often entails other stressful symptoms in addition to the actual anxiety.
On the one hand, of course, there is the underlying discomfort or even the fear of being surrounded by people, interacting socially and being eyed. But as if that alone wasn't enough to make life difficult, unfortunately other thought patterns often occur:
- Guilt because you can't enjoy your new freedom, even though for months you've wanted nothing more than to be able to sit in a café or bar with friends.
- The pressure you put on yourself because you can't be as social as you were in life before coronavirus.
- Jealousy or envy of people who seem to be able to seamlessly return to their previous lives without any problems and without any social anxiety.
- The feeling of being completely alone with these emotions, of not functioning properly as a person.
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Shame for all these emotions and oppression, instead of relief and a desire for freedom.
2. normalization is required & starts with you
The first step is to realize that you are absolutely not alone with these feelings. Even if it seems that way when you look at the carefree gatherings. Many people may have exactly the same thoughts in their heads. I know this because I am one of those minds myself. A few weeks ago, I had to go shopping on a fairly warm and sunny Saturday lunchtime, but the thought of having to go out, walk across the Gärtnerplatz (a fairly popular meeting place here in Munich) and then back led me to procrastinate for half the day as the square filled up with more and more people. If my supplies hadn't been completely empty, I think I would have left it alone, but at some point I pulled myself together and was almost happy to be able to hide my face behind a mask and sunglasses. It was hard to bear the looks on people's faces as they stood casually together with their drinks, sipping their coffee in restaurants. The crowds at the traffic lights were even worse. And it's not about the fear of catching coronavirus, but simply the discomfort of having to present myself in front of so many people. When I was able to close the front door behind me again, I realized how much energy this short shopping trip had cost me.
The fact is: A huge number of people are sharing their fears and concerns about the current situation on social media right now. This has helped me enormously to realize that it is a much more widespread side effect of the pandemic than I previously thought. We all have to get used to this new situation, to our newfound freedom. And just because it looks to the outside world as if all the people at Gärtnerplatz are completely enjoying being together doesn't mean that some people aren't working on getting used to this situation inside and feeling comfortable with it.
Social anxiety is completely normal, especially for the absolutely abnormal times we live in. Realizing this has made being outside a lot easier for me. But to really enjoy life again this summer, I'm sticking to a few more tips:
3. how to: Post-lockdown life with social anxiety
Take the pressure off! Your social life doesn't have to be ramped up from 0 to 100 just because there are more opportunities to organize your free time. Don't compare your own activity with that of others around you. Everyone goes at their own pace and that's perfectly fine. So enjoy your me-time without feeling guilty, then you can look forward to going out again soon.
Trust your intuition! Consciously remove yourself from situations in which you feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. (I actually recommend this tip for every situation in life). If it's too much, then stay at home and have a nice day with yourself. How can you do that? Take a look at the next point.
Plan breathing breaks, keep a balance! Whatever gives you personal energy and calm, plan it into your week. A quiet walk in the evening, Netflix, relaxed cooking, taking a bath, tidying up, clearing out, finally implementing the home project from lockdown, and so on and so forth. If you are in balance with yourself, you will also feel more comfortable around people.
Make the most of rain breaks! Grab your umbrella and go for a walk around the city, into the stores, sit in a covered café. With fewer people around you, you're sure to enjoy your new freedom. And with the next ray of sunshine, you might feel like sitting somewhere cozy yourself, even if it's busier.
Invite people over instead of going out! Invite your friends over to your house or balcony, organize a small dinner party, a private cocktail tasting, or just sit together and have a nice chat.
Get it off your chest! Talk to your friends and family about how you feel. You're sure to find that many of your experiences are shared. We need to talk about how we are feeling now. This is the only way we can somehow normalize the emotional state of the world.
4. up and down instead of up up up
Progress is not exponential growth. (For anyone who last heard the word "exponential" in high school: A line that moves steadily upwards). Progress goes up and down. Some days we just feel better and others we feel like we're back to square one.
Accept your pace! No matter how much time you need, it's okay that you need it to get used to this new world again. Don't be so hard on yourself if you're struggling to adjust. Be patient and take a look around you. We all face the same challenge together every day. The next time I feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed being around people, I will look around and remind myself of exactly that. Are you with me?
